There is no denying that our past experiences play a role in what we do, how we react to things, and even who we are today. It is those experiences that have taught us learned behavior, both good and not so good. I’ll be the first to tell you that moving beyond your past is a struggle but making peace with it is another ball of wax. Truth is, as human beings, we tend to use avoidance as a coping mechanism when we experience things that cause us pain, grief, or discomfort because we are inclined to do what hurts less. Especially when we are simply ready to restore some sort of happiness; Right?
The challenge with that mindset though is oftentimes those things that we do not make peace with boomerangs back and wreak havoc.
Making peace doesn’t negate that certain life experiences did not take place, it means we have made a conscious choice to acknowledge it, process it, and move beyond it healthily. More importantly, we are aware enough to recognize the triggers so we are not affected the way we once were.
Making peace with your past and letting go is easier said than done.
But, let me share with you 3 substantial reasons why letting go of the past and looking towards the future is vital:
There is nothing you can do about the past! What you can do is recognize how impacts you now, take the required steps to ensure it no longer has the same power over you today, and take ownership of the present and your desired future.
2. To have what you want and need new things, and new relationships you must
create space to receive it.
3. Overcoming the challenges strengthens you making you more capable of all the
Overthinking and Self-sabotage are common symptoms of choosing to move on before you face and heal from past experiences. It’s like putting the cart before the horse and what better way to live a life you love than by taking back your present and reconciling your past. It is by far the greatest middle finger of all time.
There is no one size fit all; however, these 3 suggestions that will help you along your journey:
Forgiveness. A lot of times it is not what others have done to us but what we have allowed others to do; so, with that said Forgive Yourself! Forgiving yourself will free you up to forgive anyone else. I know it sounds cliché but forgiveness is more for you than anyone else and at this point, you are the priority.
2. What was the lesson? There is a lesson in all most every ill-fated situation. Once you can go through and recover from the emotions attached to how you feel you will begin to gain perspective that will yield the clarity your heart yearns for and there is where you find the lesson.
3. Focus on the Good. The one outcome is there is a level of courage, confidence, and a strength that comes from overcoming a difficult time in your life.
Remember, forgiveness is more about you than the other person. Forgiveness does not have to be hard and our past choices do not define us. You can find more support here, in The power of forgiveness.